Come to Jesus Meeting
I'm sorry for my blurry pictures. My phone is currently being held together by stickers. Hurry it up with your new iPhone release, Apple. Mama needs a new camera by her side. Of course I have a Canon, but I also have three kids that I keep protecting it from. As you can see from my blurry photo, I finished the last leg of the floor in the guest room. I may add a little top coat, but the hard work is finished. Now, I'm on to the moulding.
The moulding and the doors would have been a snap, but whoever stayed in this room really loved taping tiny pieces of paper to the wood work. As you can see, it left permanent marks. Who knows how long that tape had been there. A little light sanding, some rag-wiped stain, and . . .
It looks like this. I have a bit more to go, but I had to take a break to come see my mama. More on that in a bit.
I'm doodling for a painting and creating some sails. I've been asked to sell some of my artwork in the gift shop in the new hospital in New Braunfels (the one I made the tree for). Are you beside yourself with glee? I'll be meeting with the owner in a few weeks to showcase some pieces for her.
This is our new trash can. I knew you would all want to see it.
I've been in recovery from sickness for a bit. It's actually been really difficult. I have seen some of the worst parts of myself as I have attempted to heal while caring for my children at home alone. I have been incredibly stressed as I have tried to take on all of the things my role requires of me. I came to that breaking point of knowing I cannot do this alone. I have taken on too much. I have been frustrated with my children. My husband told me it was okay because I had taken on so much. He told me I was brave. All I wanted was for Jesus to rip this sin out of my heart so that my girls could see His face in me. I did the only thing I could do. I told them how sinful I was and just like I said, that they would see Jesus in me. I have been asking for grace, mercy, compassion by the bucket and begging the Lord to refill my cup so that I might love. I have been crying out for healing. In the midst of this great pain, I came to an end of myself. I began looking to Jesus with fresh desperation. I realized that I have been a one woman show for too long and that I am greatly in need of help. I am asking for that help and will be. I need help to finish our house. I need help to be healthy. I need your encouragement more than I can articulate to you. I long for your prayers, dear friends. Pray that healing and help will come to us on every level. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. May the grace of Christ abound to you.
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"...seeing the worst parts of myself..." is all I or anyone else has seen for months (longer). Just this morning, driving to work, I confessed to God, telling him how bad my attitude is, how bad my mouth is, how angry I am...I told him it doesn't matter how hard or earnestly I try, I can't fix this (me). I needed him and he was going to have to change it (me) for me. I give up.
Today was long and still difficult, but tonight I feel encouraged. Know beyond any doubt that you are deeply in the midst of God's will, yes, even in your struggles. He is using you mightily even now. Be encouraged. You are being prayed for and help will come.